In honor of “National Tell A Joke Day”

A man shows up at work on Monday with a black eye. His coworker asks him, “Hey, how’d you get that?”

The man with the shiner says, “The funniest thing happened yesterday, I was in church and the woman in the pew in front of me stood to sing and I noticed her dress was stuck in the crack of her ass… so I reached over and pulled it out and she punched me!”

The following Monday the guy shows up at work with another black eye. His friend asks, “What happened this time?”

“Well, you’ll never believe it, I was at church and the same woman stood to sing but her dress was not stuck in the crack of her ass, and I remembered how much she liked it there so I tucked it in.”

I’m here all week folks, don’t forget to tip your waitress.

1. I really do want chickens, but their wild side-eye glances and freaky jerky neck thrusts flat out scare me. The thought of walking through the dewy morning grass in my jammies to scoop up aqua and café au lait hued eggs makes me dizzy, but they simply freak me out.
2. I started my current career just one month shy of my 37th birthday. Proof that there are second acts, and third, and fourth. But you knew that.
3. I do not like reggae, not even a little.
4. If there is a choice between a pair of red shoes and any other color I always buy the red.
5. I do not have a green thumb, though most people think I do.

In a world with so many apps designed to increase productivity, I highly recommend this time sucking, step on the brakes, magical musical mystery tour of an app. SO MUCH FUN. Go grab your boring leftovers from the kitchen, pop in your earbuds and be ready for a world tour from the safety of your cubicle.

I am currently touring 1960’s Sweden while processing our September issue ads for AppleNews+. Maybe it’s the interface’s aesthetic, but this musical time machine feels like a Wes Anderson movie soundtrack.

Links:
Desktop Radiooooo.com
iPhone